Too Many Sandwiches
Shopping spree for the family tree
Haven't seen your family tree in quite a while
too many sandwiches
and wine sherry stanins down your best man's tie
what a speech the band arrives
the granny's cry
singer's tongue's in the bar maids mouth
what a voice
Grandpa drunk a drop or two
his head's still sunk in the portaloo
what a man
you bought a sequin dress for your chicken breast
the disco's late and he's overpaid
tonight you got a diamond ring
and the man who sings the man who sings made love to the barmaid twice
and that's just tonight
the blue rinsed hairs lift up the chairs
the band's too loud
they're off down stairs
what a noise
the bride and groom dance their dance
the singer mimes there's still a chance
the barmaid smiles